I had the pleasure of working at a school the other day, that I can describe as nothing less than a beautiful picture pulled straight from the pages of a united colors of benetton ad. The children of all races, from many different cultural and economic backgrounds; playing happily together on the playground; negotiating calmly and respectfully during team challenges in the classroom; and sitting together at lunch enjoying a meal in peace. I couldn’t help but be filled with joy over this beautiful picture that lay before me, proof that we can all get along and live in peace if we just be who we are together and offer no judgement towards another’s beliefs and passions.
These beautiful children and this loving school were proof that with a small amount of structure and a community wide agreement of how everyone deserves to be treated, people from all walks of life can live together. These kids may not have “grown up problems” to stress them out or lead their choices but I’d argue that kid problems are just as real. School is their job and they get homework as young as first grade. Recess is their gathering with co–workers (fellow students). Lunch their cocktail party with friends of their best friends that they may not totally understand or enjoy. You know what they do it in each of these situations, they make it work. (to quote Tim Gunn). They know that bringing conflict and agression to the situation isn’t the answer, they know there are consequences for agressive or mean response, so they make it work.
At yet another school, I taught a unit on feelings, where they come from, how they feel, how they look, what we do when we feel them. The solutions ,that the children, had to conflicts after examining their feelings deeply were thoughtful , fair and logical. They listened to their feelings and then gave them structure in their community, to create outcomes that worked in the long run and didn’t destroy any member or pillar of their community in body or thought.
What I bring you from this experience is that people from different cultures, viewpoints and belief system can live happily side by side if we take some advice from the children. Accept a bit of structure around expected behaviour in a large community. Remember that manners, respect and tolerance of things you may not love or choose are necessary for us all to feel safe and welcome in our communities. Behaviors of exclusion, neglect and intolerance breed selfishness, entitlement and hate. We are all equal no matter how much money you have, how fancy your home is or isn’t, whether you have the latest tech or not. Stuff and things don’t make anyone a better person, what is inside your heart is what makes you good. This may seem like a simple thing, but so many “grownups” have forgotten it.
Our communities deserve our full presence as equal, responsible, contributing members, who care for one another, take the time to get to know one another and lift each other up.
