The lost art of listening is one of the most powerful tools a human has to connect, grow and honor the ones around them.  Listening is not merely hearing with the mechanism that is our ear.  True listening, is listening with your heart, mind and body.  It is not only taking subtle cues from those around you, but considering those cues and taking them into account when you make your decisions.  Real listening requires the listener to step outside of themselves, their thoughts, their problems and their desires to open themselves up to hearing what another has to say without judgement, with respect, with an open heart and mind.

Too many times we hear what people say, only in the moment, and never consider it again.  We ask “How Are you?” and don’t really care what the answer is.  We sit with our significant others and say, “I hear you and I am sorry”, then go and commit the exact behavior that upset them again and again and don’t understand when they are frustrated.  It is no longer the act that is frustrating, so much as the lack of true listening to the initial request.  The lack of caring enough to remember it.  The belief that your stuff is more important than theirs or that theirs only mattered in that one small moment.

We all know it sucks not to be heard.  Not to be considered.  Not to be included in the conversation in a real, deep way.  Let’s not make others feel that way.  It doesn’t cost a dime to listen, it actually saves time because the knowledge you gain will aide you in the future to be a better, more considerate person with everyone you encounter.  If we added up all the hours, frown lines, stress pains and headaches caused by not listening; you would gladly trade them in for the true, deep, enlightening moments of a real conversation.

So, turn off the phone, put down the remote and close this laptop.  Find someone you love and just talk.  Ask them how they are and mean it.  Then listen as a new world of understanding and humanity opens to you all.